David Burghardt

Yes, it’s Friday the 13th and that brings up thoughts of all those awful horror movies with the same name…but I could really use a good snooze even if it entails a nightmare or two…

It’s not necessarily the nightmare I’m after, but a good week of sleep to catch up on the incredible jetlag I’m suffering. I just got back to Moscow after vacationing on the Pacific Ocean (Oregon Coast) for two weeks and there is an 11-hour time difference that my body and mind are dealing with. My trip back from Oregon began on Monday, flying from Eugene to Portland with a 6-hour layover, then a red-eye flight to Atlanta, arriving at 7:00 a.m. on Tuesday morning. Yet another 3-hour layover before my flight to New York, another 3-hour layover, and then finally my 10-hour flight to Moscow, where I arrived at around noon on Wednesday.

For those of you who travel for business or pleasure, I’m sure you know this feeling of becoming a zombie for the next few days after long flights and large time differences. I don’t sleep well on flights and usually grab an hour or two while flying across the United States because I know I’ll get my full sleep on the New York-Moscow leg of the trip. I always say “I know,” but in reality, I know I won’t get any sleep because I always end up in the part of the plane that has the shrieking child. And it happened again this trip, only the 18-month-old Russian toddler was sitting between me and his mother. I have no idea how a child can actually scream, cry, whine and demand attention so many hours in a row without collapsing into a deep sleep at some point. This little Russian rugrat had it down pat how to put the American over the edge, along with the others of various nationalities in the same cabin as me…and there was nowhere else to sit because the plane was packed solid.

Mom wasn’t much help either as she constantly attempted to raise her voice over the top of the shrills of her offspring to “calm him down.” One of her “expert tricks” was to take him into her arms (or by the hand) and walk up and down the entire cabin to keep him entertained and to annoy all of the passengers on board who might not have been in good earshot of the little monster as he continued screaming at the top of his lungs.

When I finally reached my home in Moscow, all I wanted to do was collapse. This only worked for about two hours though because my stomach suddenly reminded me that it was time to eat…but worst of all was at 4:00 on Thursday morning when my stomach began screaming for a 3-course meal and all the food in the house was in the freezer (I don’t have a microwave). I actually ordered a large pizza and ate the whole thing literally scarfing it down, swallowing without chewing.

Arriving at work later on Thursday for the evening shift that starts at 4:00 p.m. to midnight, my body was not with me because it thought it was 3:00 in the morning. I struggled all evening trying to keep my head straight and not pass out cold before my computer as the newswire continued flickering important things before my eyes, which barely made out the words on the screen. I collapsed into bed at around 1:00 a.m., but unfortunately woke up at 6:00 on Friday morning with recurring hunger pains…the remainder of the day was spent staring up at the ceiling in hopes that my body would actually be getting some rest, though my mind wasn’t. Each time I dropped off, it was just for a few minutes and then I’d wake up from the strange dreams and nightmares…

 Well, I’ve got all weekend now to catch up, so I’ll be fresh finally by Monday…if I can get some sleep.