David Burghardt

I just read an “analysis” of what Russia and Russians are like by an unnamed Canadian here in Moscow. He made a list of 25 “facts” for everyone so they “understand” Russia…It should be entitled: “How Stereotypes are Created”…

I’m hoping this Canadian guy who teaches English was just fooling around with the list, but it did hit Facebook and that’s how it got my attention. I’m not sure if he originally wrote it in English and someone translated it into Russian or not, but not all of his “facts” are straight and most are overly generalized.

Some of his points I agree with. For example, his Point Number 1: “Moscow has the best subway system in the world.” I’d have to agree with that for the most part. Moscow probably has the most efficient subway in the world, but it’s not the most comfortable. I’d say the most comfortable for passengers riding in trains is most likely in Barcelona, Spain. They’re much more comfortable than the ones in Moscow, but have longer waits in between trains (Barcelona – 2-5 minutes, Moscow – about every 30 seconds at rush hour). I haven’t been to Japan, Hong Kong, or anywhere else in Asia, so I can’t compare their systems. His “best subway system” acclaim is, therefore, generalized at least.

Another one of his points (Number 8) says: “Borscht, cabbage rolls, and meat pastries are actually Ukrainian dishes.” This is true. Many associate borscht with Russia, but it just ain’t so!

He goes on with other “generalized facts” that I have a tendency to believe, but they can’t be proven. For example, smiling for no reason tends to make Russians suspicious; those speaking in a foreign language (not Russian) are suspicious; Russians are superstitious; Russians like to criticize their country, but will be offended if a foreigner does. One of his “better observances” that I find funny is: “If nothing breaks while the check-out clerk is scanning your items at the store, then you are getting good service.” Another funny one is that it takes the average driver 10 minutes to parallel park. Funny, but untrue.

The questionable statements that he made about Russia and Russians, which is just “plain fertilizer for stereotypes,” can be seen in the following “facts.”

His first (Number 6 on his list) is: “The only non-alcoholic zone in Russia is McDonald’s.” I could name dozens of places in Moscow (let alone Russia) where alcohol, including beer, is not served. On the other hand, in the McDonald’s in Spain and Germany, they serve beer.

Number 11 and 12 on his list can be combined: “Sushi is more popular in Russia than in Japan” and “Japan is more popular in Russia than in Japan itself.” These two claims are “extremely fishy.”

I did some research on the web to find out sushi consumption statistics worldwide. You can’t find them. What I did find, however, was some works by researchers who talk about the “globalization of sushi.” Not the most interesting read I’ve had, but I did get some facts. For example, the average Japanese eats sushi maybe once a month and that’s usually during some sort of a holiday or celebration. Yes, sushi is popular and somewhat of a fad in Russia, but I don’t think Russians consume more sushi than the Japanese. First of all, most can’t afford sushi, with the exception of connoisseurs in Moscow, St. Petersburg and a few other large cities. It’s widely known that Muscovites make more money and can afford the delicacy; whereas people in industrial cities really don’t get into the faddish sushi fetish. In Moscow, there are hundreds of sushi bars and you can buy it in almost any grocery store chain. Our Canadian has made his assumption that Moscow is Russia…Moscow is the exception to Russia, just as New York is the exception to the United States.

Where does he get this “patriotic” claim that Japan is more popular in Russia? The Japanese are extremely patriotic and love everything Japanese (also a generalization, but they have all those neat new gadgets and toys at their fingertips).

Since we’re on the food thing here, we’ll continue with his “fact Number 20,” which reads “Russians love McDonald’s, KFC, Subway and Burger King more than Americans” and “fact Number 23” that stipulates, “Though Russians eat more fast food than Westerners, Russians are much healthier.”

Oh, Come On! Where did he get that crock of bull?! Though those fast food chains are located in Russia (again only in a few big cities), you can’t generalize by saying “Russians.” He could have said “Muscovites” and I would have more or less believed him. Fact Number 23 is highly questionable. First of all, Russians don’t eat more fast food than Westerners…and the average life expectancy in Russia is much lower than in the West. Russian men have one of the lowest life expectancies in Europe at 60 years; whereas German men are at 77. According to the World Health Organization, a typical 18-year-old in the West has a 90% chance of reaching retirement age, but a Russian has a 50% chance. That in itself doesn’t sound like “Russians are much healthier.”

He makes a summary statement at the end of his “fact sheet” that reads: “Russians are actually freer than in the West; there are fewer laws and social limitations and the crime level is lower than in the USA or Great Britain.”

I’m not sure how he calculated the crime level. In overall statistics of total crimes, the United States leads, followed by Britain, Germany, France and then Russia. In terms of crimes per capita (per 100,000), the first on the list is the United States, followed by Russia, Belarus and Palau. Well, the United States does have a higher population, so there’s bound to be more “total crimes” because there are just more of us than in Russia.

And to finish analyzing this Canadian analysis of Russia, this American also read one more curious point: “Russians are passionate lovers…and kiss and hug in public like porno stars.” I must be totally blind while walking down the street…Do porno stars even kiss in movies?